Pet's loss

[bediane1954]

I don't think there is anything as difficult as losing a dog. They love us no matter what we do or how we act. I have 3 right now and I couldn't imagine living without any of them now or never. My Mom won't even get another dog. She says she doesn't want to be hurt again. All I can think of when I think of this kind of statement is that I wouldn't even know what true love is without the love of my dogs...the ones that have already crossed the rainbow bridge and those still with me.

[myangelbabies]

I know alot of people that think of dogs as just dogs. I was blessed being raised in a family that loved animals. If it scurried around I loved it. (excluding snakes and spiders) sorry. I live and breathe my dogs. I always kiss them goodnite and tell them nothing but sweet dreams, they are my angel babies!!! I believe God sent them to me straight from heaven to help me deal with lifes challenges. My heart hurts everytime I hear of abuse/neglect. I had a customer tell me that she had some of the poisoned food, she said she did'nt give it to her dogs , thankfully, but this part made me ill. There is a stray that hangs around her house so she gave it the food, she calmly said no big deal we did'nt want that dog anyway. She said she thinks it had been abused and that it's health was very poor. People in this area are very closed to outsiders, which we are, we just moved here in June from Panama City, Fl. I told her if the dog is sick please take it the Veterinarian. She said they aren't going to waste the money. So I suggested contacting the humane society. From how she explained the dogs health, being put down would be better. If the dog can regain it's health there could also be placement for it. I felt very helpless and I hope my advise was good. I just wish I could of done more.

[latergatorj]

I understand your mom's decision not to have any more dogs. I made the same decision to not own any more cats when Abby died. It just broke my heart so much and I can't do it again.

I still love cats, but I don't want to go through what i went through, again. I've thought about just being a foster mom that way i can love them and have their company but not get as attached to them.

I will be getting my first foster kitty in 2 weeks. She belongs to my sister who is moving overseas. I'm keeping bailey for 6 months until my sister gets settled in place at her final overseas destination.

[palehorse]

Originally Posted by bediane1954

My Mom won't even get another dog. She says she doesn't want to be hurt again.

This is the way a lot of us grieve. It does not really mean she "means it". You see, when you loose something dear to you, to immediately replace it causes some people to feel, either consciously or subconsciously, that they are "betraying or dishonoring" the departed.

Also, the pain is intense, and is is VERY human to not want to go through it again. Time causes hurt to heal, though we sometimes NEVER get over our pet loss, the pain WILL subside. When the pain subsides, and enough time has passed, enough to where she will not feel guilt at getting another pet, she probably will.

The thing with compassionate people, animal lovers, we cannot stay without a pet indefinitely, no matter how much we proclaim "never again!" we always end up doing it anyway.

My sister-in-law did this, she went two years without another pet after the death of "Tasha". Last month she is now the owner of "Karma" lol. She swore and swore, "NEVER AGAIN" but...

I suspect your Mother is going to do the same. It's the people that hate dogs that never get another one, not the people that love them.

[palehorse]

Originally Posted by latergatorj

I will be getting my first foster kitty in 2 weeks. She belongs to my sister who is moving overseas. I'm keeping bailey for 6 months until my sister gets settled in place at her final overseas destination.

Babysitting pets is a GREAT way to deal with grief IMO. We babysit Karma, and Sophie (both female schnauzer puppies) from time to time. I thought it would be hard since they are the same breed as my lil Bitsy that passed away, but suprisingly it was not. Awkward yes, at first, feelings like "should I feel disloyal? Guilty?" but no, I really needed to hold another creature after all the pain I have just been through.

So, good idea! and good luck!

[palehorse]

Originally Posted by myangelbabies

which we are, we just moved here in June from Panama City, Fl.

Hey that's where I live! Small world isn't it?

[elisi989]

Originally Posted by latergatorj

I still love cats, but I don't want to go through what i went through, again. I've thought about just being a foster mom that way i can love them and have their company but not get as attached to them.

I will be getting my first foster kitty in 2 weeks. She belongs to my sister who is moving overseas. I'm keeping bailey for 6 months until my sister gets settled in place at her final overseas destination.

Take it from someone who has had her heart broken a few times now by the passing of a beloved pet, the pain will ease eventually and in the mean time getting your kitty cuddles from fostering is a great idea. One day you will look into the adorable face of a kitty or pup and you will know that you are ready again.

[Tucker'sMom]

I lost my Tucker on March 2, 2007. We think he had Cushing's Disease for years, that my old Veterinarian just plain missed. Instead of the non-cancerous tumor, we think his was cancerous, and it spread to his liver. By the time he showed any signs of real problems, it was almost too late. He passed away less than a week after the Vet discharged him from the hospital thinking he would be fine. We were going to have a liver biopsy done, but the other Veterinarian that would do it couldn't do it that day...not that I think it would've changed the outcome. My Vet called me and told me that he had gone drastically down hill(...he was hospitalized again) and the Vet, and us made the decision to have him out down. I wanted to do it in the afternoon so I could prepare myself, my husband, and our 5 year old. I got a phone call less than an hour later saying that he wasn't going to make it until the afternoon. When I went to the Veterinarian's office to be with him, I found my dog hardly able to lift his head. He couldn't stand up and he had lost control of his bodily functions. This is the same dog I walked in there less than 24 hours before. We visited him a while, and then my husband took the boys and left. My Mom and I stayed with him while he was put down. I take comfort in the fact that he knew we were there and that we all loved him, and I was there when he passed.
Despite my protests that I didn't want another dog because I could not go through that again, my husband had found us another puppy that afternoon. We picked her up a week later, and she is a pistol. I have had some problems with guilt, but Tucker would not have wanted me to be without a dog. I do feel guilty because I got a purebred, while Tucker was a shelter dog. I feel very strongly about saving a shelter dog. My husband, however has always wanted a German Shorhaired Pointer, so that's what we got. My husband was trying to make things better by getting another dog so soon. He knows I would have been even more miserable without another dog. I love her, just different than Tucker. Sometimes she makes it a little worse though, because she doesn't quite "fit" yet...or we haven't adapted to "fit" her...one or the other.
My point is, you have to do what feels right to you, and ignore what other people suggest, only you can make the right choice for you. I wasn't sure we had made the right decision, but I think it's going to work out well...especially after we get this little girl housebroken!!!!

[palehorse]

I totally understand the desire to save a "condemned" life, since the majority of sheltered pets end up euthanized. But, there is also something to buying a pure bred which is different.

First off, when you buy a pure bred puppy it is, well, a puppy. the puppy stage is where bonding starts, it is the root of bonding, not just for your puppy, but you as well.

Secondly you basically know what to expect when you buy a particular bred. Example: You "know" a mini schnauzer will NOT shed a single hair, and almost NEVER bites. (I have "know" many schnauzers and NONE I have known have ever bit anyone).

And thirdly they are ALL puppies and need a good home. The puppy at the kennel did not ask to be born, and in spirit, is every bit in need as a shelter puppy. The puppy itself has no idea, or hand in, how it got here. It needs a good home as desperately as the one in the shelter. If a pure bred puppy does not sell the price lowers as it ages, and if it still does not sell and the breeder does not need more "breeding stock" it too can be euthanized. (very rare).

I am not advocating pure bred over a sheltered pet, (do both if you can) I am just saying that a choice to buy a pure bred is NOT a in-humane choice, it is after all, your home and YOU are the one giving your time, love, your very life (some of it anyway) to this animal.

So don't feel guilty. Feel like you did the world a favor by adding more love and compassion.