I hope we did the right thing by putting our cat to sleep

[sportsfan2007]

Hello all,
Yesterday we had to make perhaps the most difficult decision we as a family ever had to make. We put our 18 year old cat to sleep. I am just hoping we made the right decision. He was a very good cat and very strong. He was a tank. Time and time again Mitzie overcame the odds and survived. This time however, we had to come to grips that is was time. Mitzie was an old cat and started having kidkey faliure about 15 months ago. We took her to the Veterinarian and rehydrated her but the Veterinarian said this process would only prolong her for a few months. But he always seemed to last longer.
He wasnt the same though for a long time. He past few years he would develop this disturbing deep and overreggagerated moan. It was very predictable. He would start but somehow had trouble continuing this moan and would pause and after a few attempts he would finish. We had asked the Veterinarian about this and they said it was probably nothing. Our cat was spoiled so I thought maybe he was just crying to get food. I really don't know. Maybe he was in pain.
We took him to the Veterinarian on tuesday and we found out he had throat cancer. The Veterinarian said there was a huge lesion on the top ridge of his mouth that was now a hole red and raw. This could explain why we would eat less. His eating habits changed over the years and he had lost alot of weight. When we were younger I would put peanut butter in the palm of my hands and let him lick it off my hands. I would do this now and he just seemed less interested. The Veterinarian said back in december he found that lesion in his mouth but didnt think it was cancerous.
The past few months we had to put down little rugs all over the house because Mitzie would always throw up. He just started to lose control of his bowel movements and would urinate and poop not in his liter box. This jsut started all so quickly. I Knew something was wrong. Perhaps the most telling sign was tuesday night when he woke me up in the middle of the night because he was bumping into the walls because he couldnt walk straight. He would zigzag his legs and he fell on his belly with all four spread out and the poor thing couldnt even get back up on his own strength. I knew it was time.
We took him to the Veterinarian wednesday morning to put him asleep. Watching him get injected was probably the most painful thing I ever had to watch. The thing that worries me was as Mitzie was injected he was crying. I just fear that somehow he was telling us that he wasnt ready to go and didnt want the injection. This is what I am grieving over the most. My sister was crying and the Veterinarian looked into her eyes and said in a fishy way to her that he has cancer and has to go. I couldnt help but get a weird vibe off that. Like he was fed up with us trying to always prolong our cats life and just wanted to put him to sleep. He was very pushy about putting Mitzie to sleep on tuesday when he told us he had cancer but we wanted more time with him. I wanted to stop the whole process but I didnt want to look like a fool.
I know Mitzie wasnt right and he had alot of symptoms but this cat was a tank. I just think maybe he was jsut sick and was telling us its only temporary and he will bounce back and didnt want the injection. Hes been like that his whole life. The thing that makes me sad is I wasnt the nicest to him over the last part of his life. I became frustrated with him even though I know it wasnt his fault. Mitzie just couldnt react normally anymore to things. I would open the door and he would just plant himself behind it and I would accidently strike him often times breaking things. I would often times step on him when he would plant himself around my feet and drop and break thnigs. I would get so upset at him and I felt horrible cause I Knew it wasnt his fault. I loved him but I grew frustrated. I would often times push him to the side with force because he was always in my way. I regret this.
Before we put him alseep I had a chance to hold him and tell him to his face that I am sorry for everything and that I loved him. I never felt so emotional in my life I am even crying as I am writing this. I just hope we did the right thing. I hope we didnt deny him yet another opportunity to bounce back like he always did before.

[latergatorj]

Dear SportsFan:

I'm very sorry for your loss. No matter how ill our pet are, it is difficult to feel %100 sure that we chose the right time. But I feel that because it takes a long time to reach the point of feeling that it is time, it is really is time. When it is time, letting them go is a kindness.

Pets are very forgiving, I wouldn't worry about things you feel you were in wrong for. Think about the good days, the happy days, the days you treated him well.

I lost both of my kitties this past year. One was 19 years old and the other 10 1/2.

Please take it one day at a time. Your kitty was lucky to have been able to spend his life with you.

-Jackie

[Whizzy]

I'm so sorry you lost your dear friend. But I'm pretty sure you did the right thing. Your pet was suffering, and I think this time he wasn't going to rally with any real quaility of life.

I know from experience that there are various stages of grief that we all have to work through. One of those stages is guilt, and that's what you're experiencing right now. If it's any comfort, please know that it's perfectly normal to feel what you feel. And it doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. It just means your normal, and experiencing normal grief.

Give yourself time, and I promise you it will get better.

[dhaggerty723]

I'm so sorry about your kitty, it does sound like you did the right thing. It's so hard to know when, but in our hearts I think we do k now.

I had a similar experience but my kitty was much younger - she had lumps taken out and they recurred within months, and the cycle just kept getting worse. But my daughter and I knew what we had to do, when we saw that she was hiding, not eating and it almost seemed like she was crying.

We were right there holding her, stroking her and were there for her and to say good by - and I'm sure your Mitzie knew it was time. 18 years is awesome! I wish I had 18 with my Emma. She was with me for 5 years! Too short of a time.

I hope you are doing better by now.
donna

[adriean]

Sportsfan2007
Just last week I also had to put my Gatito down only a few hours before his final end. 3 mos ago I noticed his appetite increased dramatically and I used to get so angry with him because he was always a big eater and always begged for food, its like he had a bottomless pit. Well as I said 3 mos ago his appetite increased so you can imagine my concern. I took him to the Veterinarian and bloodwork was taken and nothing showed up so we went home, but he continued to eat like there was no tomorrow but I also noticed he was losing weight and I knew from experience there was something wrong. We went back to to Veterinarian who did an ultrasound and found a mass in his abdomen. Deep down inside I knew what the outcome would be, but I had to try and help him so we did surgery, and doc was not able to get all the mass then I got the news he had cancer. I too felt guility and bad because I used to get to angry with him. I would push him off my bed at night because he was black, 15 lbs, and long hair and there was always hair on my bed and pillows and I was tired of having hair in my face and in my mouth and no matter where I went he was there stuck to me like glue. I tried not to let this bother me because I knew he loved me and he was such a needy cat, but he was always in the way. Once I was washing dishes and I didn't see him when I turned around to take a step he was there and I tripped over him, fell and ended up in the hospital getting stitches on my forehead. Gatito was a pest, but I always loved him no matter what even though he sometimes annoyed me. When I made the deceision to let him go it hurt me so much, and his cries were so sad I couldn't keep him alive for me but had to let him go to a better place where he wouldn't hurt anymore, so I held him in my arms and talked to him about how he would meet up with Miles my other cat and Sophie my toy poodle, both who passed away a year ago 4 mos apart of old age and how someday we would all be together again. I told him to wait for me with Sophie and Miles at that Rainbow Bridge I've heard so much about and once again we would all be together again as a family, then he received his first relaxing injection and he closed his eyes and went into a deep sleep, then 20 minutes later he received the final injection, then he left me for good. I miss him at night, he used to sleep on my pillow above my head and swish his tail in my face until I would push him off my bed, but minutes later he was back. I still haven't taken down his bed in my room by the window where he slept during the day with the window a little open, he loved to look out and he would just stare who knows what he was thinking. I cry when I write and think about him. He was cremated as were Miles and Sophie then I brought him home. I feel guility sometimes when I think how I treated him, but I know in my heart that he knows how much I loved him and I know he forgives me for any wrong doing, I just need to forgive myself.

Adriean

[adriean]

Sportsfan2007
Just last week I also had to put my Gatito down only a few hours before his final end. 3 mos ago I noticed his appetite increased dramatically and I used to get so angry with him because he was always a big eater and always begged for food, its like he had a bottomless pit. Well as I said 3 mos ago his appetite increased so you can imagine my concern. I took him to the Veterinarian and bloodwork was taken and nothing showed up so we went home, but he continued to eat like there was no tomorrow but I also noticed he was losing weight and I knew from experience there was something wrong. We went back to to Veterinarian who did an ultrasound and found a mass in his abdomen. Deep down inside I knew what the outcome would be, but I had to try and help him so we did surgery, and doc was not able to get all the mass then I got the news he had cancer. I too felt guility and bad because I used to get to angry with him. I would push him off my bed at night because he was black, 15 lbs, and long hair and there was always hair on my bed and pillows and I was tired of having hair in my face and in my mouth and no matter where I went he was there stuck to me like glue. I tried not to let this bother me because I knew he loved me and he was such a needy cat, but he was always in the way. Once I was washing dishes and I didn't see him when I turned around to take a step he was there and I tripped over him, fell and ended up in the hospital getting stitches on my forehead. Gatito was a pest, but I always loved him no matter what even though he sometimes annoyed me. When I made the deceision to let him go it hurt me so much, and his cries were so sad I couldn't keep him alive for me but had to let him go to a better place where he wouldn't hurt anymore, so I held him in my arms and talked to him about how he would meet up with Miles my other cat and Sophie my toy poodle, both who passed away a year ago 4 mos apart of old age and how someday we would all be together again. I told him to wait for me with Sophie and Miles at that Rainbow Bridge I've heard so much about and once again we would all be together again as a family, then he received his first relaxing injection and he closed his eyes and went into a deep sleep, then 20 minutes later he received the final injection, then he left me for good. I miss him at night, he used to sleep on my pillow above my head and swish his tail in my face until I would push him off my bed, but minutes later he was back. I still haven't taken down his bed in my room by the window where he slept during the day with the window a little open, he loved to look out and he would just stare who knows what he was thinking. I cry when I write and think about him. He was cremated as were Miles and Sophie then I brought him home. I feel guility sometimes when I think how I treated him, but I know in my heart that he knows how much I loved him and I know he forgives me for any wrong doing, I just need to forgive myself.

Adriean