How to help someone in denial about putting a pet to sleep

[knt413]

Hello. I am needing some help with my fiance and his dog of 7 or 8 years. About 6 months ago my fiance's blue pit bull began to get very uncoordinated. After a trip to the Veterinarian we were told this was likely due to lesions on the brain or spinal cord. He has gotten progressivily worse. He bobs around and is not stable what so ever. He trips and falls all of the time. He throws up pretty regularily and goes in and out of spells of not eating or drinking. He runs into walls, parked cars, etc. on a daily basis. His head consistently bobs back and forth. The Veterinarian said that is likely to the start of him loosing his eye sight.

My problem is that I can not get my fiance to understand that it is not fair to the dog for him to let this carry on the way he is. He is in complete denial. Even convincing himself that he is better, when he clearily is not. I hate the thought of having to put his best friend down. However, I feel that it is much crueler to let him go further into the state he is in. How can I get my fiance to talk to me or anyone else about the best option for the dog, not the best option for him. He is so upset of the thought of not having the dog around that he is making him suffer. If anyone out there has any thoughts I would love to hear them. This has been going on for some time and I could use some input if there is any out there.

[Karl]

I was googling "help someone sleep" and your rather depressing post came-up. I registered just to write a response, so I hope that this is good advice, and that you read it...

Could you go pick out a puppy with him? I think that having a newborn puppy to play with might help him face the reality of the other dogs need to depart. If I were you, I would say that you thought it was time to get another dog, but that you aren't saying he has to get rid of the other one yet. I would then takes lots of pictures over the holidays, and then to sort of confront him about it again once the holidays have ended and he has grown attached to the puppy (maybe a week afterwards, before new years.)

And more importantly, this would show him that your concern really is for him. Because I don't know you, at all, but if you coldly matter of fact tell him that he should put his dog down, it will strain your relationship. But if you do it this way, you don't allow for him to rationalize your view as jealously or selfishness. Anyways, there is no fit-all price. But if you talk to him about all of this, perhaps even make a deal about getting the puppy, then I think it would be respectful.

I wish you luck.

[rohan]

Thats a brilliant suggestion Karl.

I think the timing is also very important. You need to catch your fiance in a good mood. Maybe even show him you care in different ways and then gently talk to him about it.

Anyway I realise that this post is dated Dec 2007. Whats happened since then?

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