Deep Grief Causing Harm To The Owner

[SONUVSAMMY]

my terrier was very sick about 3 months ago.he's almost 15.the Veterinarian advised me heavily at the time to put him to sleep(my dog not the Veterinarian)..i was so grief stricken that when i got home with my dog that day i broke down and cried and was so horribally stricken with grief that i actually believe that i nearly had a heart attack.i could feel my heart literally stop and had to force myself to stop crying ,get angry over losing my dog and pray about it instead of accepting the advice the Veterinarian gave.i if i had kept on crying in grief,i know i would've had a stroke at least/and it's good that i didn't take the advice at that time,cause even though my dog's old and a tad lame he's not even near 'that' time yet.but my concern now is what happens when it is his time.i've had the dog since 1993 and being single and a loner ,he has become literally like a child to me..he learned on his own,different commands and learned how to communicate with me to the degree i that i always knew what he wanted and when regardless of what it was. he picked up on his own what the word 'around means and other words he picked up on and soon enough ,he learned to put together those words and thusly commands..such as go around the tree,(or the car,etc)..he learned "other side" such as the other isde of the car,etc..in a few short years this dog understood literally half or more of just aout anything a person could say to him at all..he learned words like up down yes no wait stay,later,and much much more and easily put the words together quickly in his mind when put they were formed into a sentence.now he's almost 15..and the thought of him pasisng on scares me to death(literally?) i'm really afraid of this episode of nearly having a heart attack occuring again if anything happens to my dog/. has anyone ever heard of anybody being so close to their pet that stroke or heart attack actually occurs?? it scared me terribally at the time,but i admit i was horribally upset at the time ,thinking that it was a necessity to put him to sleep asap/. i've wondered in the past how i'd ever react to his leaving this world.now i know.but it scares me/.has anyone ever heard of someone being that close to their pet and how does a person overcome being struck that hard by the grief. that kind of grief can kill.

[SONUVSAMMY]

MY DOG APART FROM BEING CONSTIPATED and being a bit lame due to arthritic legs and back,seemed fine up until today.we both slept in the bedroom last night which means i had to carry him upstairs as usual.i never believed my pickign him up gently to carry him was hurting him..now i question that safe feeling/.

he seemed fine when i woke up.he was still sleeping and breathing shallow and not wheezing at all.i carried him downstairs after about a half hour of me being awake downstairs .. i figured he'd enjoy being downstairs with me..
not long after i carried him down he began to act odd.he was laying in his dog bed and he had to sudenly pee which i'm used to.i gently placed hom on a pee mat(that soaks up pee..bought it at walmart)/. he sc rambled back to his doggy bed about three feet away and as he laid down his he began to bend his head extremely in the direction of his tail,his entire head and neck looked as though he was bending that way like he was having a sudden tick of some kind..well..as some raeding this mighthave gathered already,he was having a sezure or the beginning of one.it suddenly got worse.he began to suddenly gasp for air,breathing very hard. his body became rigid, he peed suddenly soaking thye inside of his bed, i thought he was dying right there on the spot.i panicked. i lifted him up a bit,i laid him back down,i rubbed his chest i gently stroked the top of his head./ the entire sezure and all that i was doing to try to help only lasted maybe two minutes at best. can ayone tell me..should a dog be moved at all during a sezure like this? also,the Veterinarian's desk help( nurse?) told me that my being there and rubbing his chest might have been the very thing that brought him out of the seizure.i don't know if that's true or not.anyone reading this that has a senior dog that is has arthritis in his /her legs and back and wheezes and especially if the dog is 14 older please take note..there will come that day that the dog will breathe that last breath and it must be accepted by you. i'm just now beginning to only accept it a very small amount. unfortunately i'll probably go to exrteme pieces and grieve for years after my dog passes on. i got way way attached to him.some would say way too much/. most would probably say that.most of my life has been wrapped around my dog instead of a wife or girlfriend/. my dog has been the center of my world. my parents and my sister and my dog(since 1993) has been my life/. only having dates here and there and living away rom my parents and family,my dog has been my center of focus.

he has a page at THE BABY IN MY HEART that hasn't been updated for a while.i guess i need to. if anyone else has gone..or is going ..through tremendous pain as i am and needs to share..please email me/.